Sexual Abuse

Child sexual abuse occurs when a child is used for sexual purposes by an adult or adolescent. It involves exposing a child to any sexual activity or behavior. Sexual abuse most often involves fondling and may include inviting a child to touch or be touched sexually. Other forms of sexual abuse include sexual intercourse, juvenile prostitution and sexual exploitation through child pornography. Sexual abuse is inherently emotionally abusive and is often accompanied by other forms of mistreatment. It is a betrayal of trust and an abuse of power over the child.

How Widespread Is the Problem?

Child sexual abuse is largely a hidden crime, so it is difficult to estimate the number of people who are sexually abused at some time during their childhood. Both adults and children may be reluctant to report sexual abuse for many reasons. Their reluctance may be related to the historical norm of keeping such behavior secret because of the sense of shame associated with it. If the abuser is someone close to them in terms of kinship or other bonds, they may be deterred by the likelihood that criminal charges and penalties may be imposed. Finally, the fact that the victims are young and dependent tends to be a major obstacle to disclosure. Many experts believe that sexual abuse is the most under-reported form of child maltreatment because of the secrecy or "conspiracy of silence" that so often characterizes these cases.

Research consistently reveals that, for reasons such as these, most child victims do not disclose their abuse. Even when they do, additional barriers may be encountered. For many of the same reasons that children do not report the abuse, their families may, in turn, not seek help. If the family does want help, they may still encounter difficulties finding the appropriate services.

How may it happen?

There are usually several stages in the process of sexual victimization of children.

1. The Approach
Child sexual abuse is an intentional activity. The first requirement is that the offender be alone with the child.

The child is often induced into being alone with the perpetrator by his suggestion of some activity like playing a game. It should be kept in mind that the greatest number of child molestations are by someone known to the child. Even in cases of "strangers" (those outside the family context) the offender, after becoming acquainted with the mother or caretaker, may offer to spend some time with the child in somewhere very innocent such as sport activity ground or park.

The initial approach, coming from an adult who may be the father, step-father, or another known person, who says it is okay, usually results in a favorable response. This is because children tend to accept adult authority, particularly that of adults close to them. In such cases the warnings about not talking with strangers do not seem relevant.

One exception to this trust factor on the part of the child is when the child has been molested, and this is a repeat request. In this event the child may back off, but by then the "secret," with accompanying warnings, has already been established. The game itself turns out to be "our little secret". It may start by the offender asking to touch the child or ask the child to touch some privet parts of his and tell the child that it is fun and when we finish, we will buy a sweet of your choice.

There is, unfortunately, another method which does not involve this kind of fun and gentleness. Force, intimidation, threats and duress are used by some less skilled, or by some deviant perpetrators. In these cases the threat may be taken very seriously by the child especially if he/she have seen force used on the mother or another member in the family. Although sexual abuse, regardless of the method of approach, is very confusing and traumatic to the child, the forced molestation results in extreme trauma because of the additional intense fear factor.

2. Sexual Interaction
Child molestation, like other addictive behaviors, is progressive. It may start with touching or fondling, but can progress to more advanced sexual contacts.

3. Secrecy
Keeping the secret is absolutely necessary in order to avoid consequences and to allow continued availability of the victim. The longer the secret is held, the longer the behavior is able to continue. The offender usually knows that this conduct is against the law, and is, therefore, makes all the possible effort to convince the child that bad things will happen if the secret gets out. Violent offenders may be more specific, telling the child that bad things will happen to her/him or even convince the child that harm will also reach the child's loved ones like brother, sister, friend or even mother if the secret is told. Many wonder why children do not tell. This threat aspect is one of the reasons.

Children will usually keep the secret unless the confusion and pain is too great, or unless it is accidentally revealed. Many never tell, or do not disclose the secret until years later. To some, the experience is so shameful and traumatic that they actually forget (or block) the experiences. When other problems arise in adulthood, therapists often find, to the surprise of the victim, that childhood molestation which was blocked is at the root of the present problems.

Possible signs of sexual abuse

Physical signs:

A sexually transmitted disease. The child might make comments about soreness, pain or genital itching.
Cuts or sores made by the child on the arms, particularly the outside of the arm.
Difficulty in walking or sitting.
Difficulty controlling bowels.
Blood on child underwear cloths.

Behavioral signs in a young child:

Depression.
Anger or hostility.
Urinating or defecating in clothes.
Low frustration level; gets upset very easily.
Masturbating in the classroom or other public places.
Acting out in a sexual manner.
Hints about sexual activity though actions or comments.
Sexualized play with peers, toys or themselves.
Very aggressive sexual behavior with others.
Not wanting to participate in school activities.
Regressive behavior, baby talk or thumb sucking.
Difficulty concentrating, withdrawn or overly obedient.
Excessive nail biting or other nervous habits.
Poor social boundaries.
Very impulsive behavior, seems unable to control behavior.
Destroying property, hurting or mutilating animals.
Unusual knowledge of sexual languages for the age range.
Behavioral signs of an older child.